Hey Girl, It's Barack Obama

Hey girl,

Mitt picked Paul Ryan, Medicare Slayer.  Joe and I are going to shoot some hoops and then you and I are going dancing.

Hey girl,

When Sean Hannity asks me to describe myself in a few words, let it be these: American, feminist, your man.

Hey girl, My feelings for you have sky-rocketed like Rupert Murdoch’s blood pressure when he heard the news that Obamacare is constitutional.

Hey girl,

I disagree completely with Dick Cheney.  John McCain made the right decision in picking Sarah Palin as his VP.

Hey girl,

You have a face that could make even the Queen of England smile from ear to ear.

Hey girl,

Excuse me for nodding off but Ron Paul just walked into the room.

Hey girl,

Took out the world’s most dangerous terrorist, turned around a faltering economy, saved the auto industry, and fundamentally reformed healthcare, but I am stumped on what to get you for your birthday.  Sorry for being such a failure.

Hey girl,

So, let me get this straight: You’re telling me that after finally clinching the GOP nomination tonight, Romney spelled “America” wrong on his campaign’s iPhone app after campaigning with an orange guy who says I hate this country?  Got it.

Hey girl,

Been listening to the Backstreet Boys’ “Show Me the Meaning of Being Lonely” on repeat all day.

Hey girl,

Good thing Sarah Palin is keeping an eye on Russia from her house in Alaska because I can’t take my eyes off you.